Valentines’ Day is around the corner. With that, I thought it might be interesting to reflect on the verses most read at weddings, from the “love chapter”, 1 Cor 13. Additionally, in my last post I was reflecting on the need to love others more. I can think of no other passage in which biblical love is described so clearly and directly.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
1 Corinthians 13:4-7
Love is patient.
The very first description of love is patience. It is as if to recognize from the start that this is going to be hard, because the need for patience alludes immediately to conflict. When we are interacting with other people, there is going to be conflict – ALWAYS – because we are different people, with different perspectives, goals, experiences, and beliefs. To love others is to be patient with one another.
Jesus calls us to patience not only with the differences between us, but with personal failings and sin. We will disappoint one another. We will do wrong. We will fail. And others will wrong us, fail us, hurt us. And in all of this too, we are to love by having patience with one another. Forgiving as we have been forgiven, for “love covers a multitude of sins”.
Love is kind.
Kindness is perhaps what we might most commonly think of when we think of loving others. We are “good to them” perhaps being generous with our time, showing mercy to those in need, serving others, building up others with our words, seeing the best in others, encouraging others and in many other ways showing love in action. Kindness is not a feeling. We don’t “feel kind”. We act kind. It is love enacted on behalf of those around us.
Love does not envy and boast, it is not proud.
Envy and boasting – in envy we find ourselves lacking, in boasting we find ourselves better than others. Love does not play this game. Love does not rank people, ourselves included. We are not to compare and create hierarchies of “value” when it comes to people. Love recognizes the inherent value in all people and the inherent sin. Not one of us is better than another. To live that out is to let go of pride -to be humble. Humility is one of the qualities I think of most when I think of Jesus. There has never been anyone greater, but he loved and served the least – the sick, the poor, the sinner. Love does not allow us to get our value by being above, ahead of, or better than others. Love recognizes the shared condition of all mankind and finds our value instead in Christ and his deep love for us.
To elaborate on how love is not proud: It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
Pride takes shape in our lives in so many ways. It puts others down with name calling, shaming, gossiping about, and disparaging others. Or, pride may mean always putting yourself and your needs first. “I don’t want to…(insert sacrifice here)”. It might mean climbing over others to get your agenda met. Anything that opposes you, may cause anger. “Why are you arguing with me?” Other people’s behavior that conflicts with your plan or desires may cause anger. Conversely, love is slow to anger. It seeks reconciliation and understanding. Finally, love keeps no record of wrongs. That big fight – let’s not keep bringing it up after we resolved the argument and forgave each other. Holding on to past sins is one more way to put us above others, so that we can be the “righteous” one in the relationship – on guard against the next slip up and ready to build our case again. Love offers a clean slate.
Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.
And then this verse, which has teeth. In my mind, even as I have been writing about clean slates, I have been thinking about those victims of abuse. I fear the call to forgive being used as a biblical reason to stay in an unsafe environment. I am grateful for God’s corrective wisdom in his word. Love doesn’t delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. Abuse is evil and love celebrates escaping from physical, verbal, and sexual abuse. It is love, which confronts those things that need to be confronted: abuse, addiction, infidelity, neglect, and other evils.
Love advocates for truth. It is this love that is enacted in a long history of Christian social justice movements – calling out evils in the world and advocating for change. It is this love that worked to abolish slavery, change child labor laws, and gave women the right to vote. It is this love that will engage the pressing issues of our time – immigration, high homicide rates in our cities, abortion law, corporate and political corruption, and environmental stewardship. As Christians, we are to engage on these issues in love and humility.
Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
We are to protect our families and loved ones, protect the weak and defenseless, protect and shield one another from evil and harm. We are to trust in God, in his faithfulness, mercy and love. Trust in the word and trust one another. We are to hope. Hope in salvation. Hope in mercy for today “in the land of the living”. Finally, we are to persevere. Loving is tough. Forgiving is hard. Being humble and letting go of pride is no fun. In all of this we will stumble.
But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 2 Cor 4:7-9
Love perseveres. It is strengthened in trial. It grows over time. It struggles, changes and matures. Love is patient, love is kind – and so must we be – with ourselves and others even as we grow in our love for one another.
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