I Am Irritable! How About You?

Can I just keep it real? This sucks! Obviously, this sucks! Cancer, Covid-19, isolation, pain, stress and anxiety. We are all going through something right now. For me, I am just plain irritable!

Being the savvy patient that I am, with tons of time on my hands, I research irritability with all of the sophistication of a single click. Guess what?… it is a response to stress and anxiety. No surprise there.

So here I am, being a pain in the ass to my sweet care givers and feeling emotionally stunted because I know I am behaving unreasonably! I currently am having all of the self-control of a 2 year old. It is so embarrassing to be able to cognitively recognize that I am being unreasonable – snapping over dumb stuff, having a combative tone, and just not filtering my thoughts and words with basic courtesy – and yet feel helpless to change my behavior.

Have you been here? Is all of this stress and anxiety getting to you too? Maybe you feel irritable like me, or something else? Some other negative emotional state that feels “out of control”?

Can I say two things that seem contradictory?…because I am talking to myself now!

1. This is a hard time. We are human. We will respond to stress and anxiety with all of the natural and predictable responses that we are predisposed to respond with – including irritability. So, be gentle and patient with yourself and one another. This is a hard time.
2. Even though it is a natural response to be irritable, it is not an excuse to treat our loved ones in uncaring ways. So we have to figure out how to deal with uncomfortable feelings and work through them as best we can for everyone’s sake. No free passes!

What to do? How to deal?

I think starting with an apology is always a safe bet. Restoring relationship through confession of our shortcomings and asking for and giving forgiveness is always at the heart of restoration – whether that be between us and God or us and other people.

It takes humility to be honest about how we are struggling….not making excuses for our behavior, but listening to our loved ones and how our attitude and failings has effected them. Sometimes we just need to clear the air and ask for a fresh start. In this area, I feel so blessed by my family.

That feeling of irritability can be a beast though! Sometimes it is best to just recognize when I am not fit for human company and take some time alone and regroup.

Then there is finding the things that will tip the scale in the other direction. Things that fill your cup. There are spiritual practices to reorient me to He who can give me strength and even joy in hard times. Reading scripture, prayer, worship music, meditation. Most of us know what to do – we just don’t feel like doing it! Maybe start with whatever comes easiest to you, but do it anyway. Sometimes we act BEFORE we feel and the feeling comes later.

Listening to worship music is one of the things that REALLY helps me a lot! I am not a musical person by nature, but filling my thoughts with good things helps tremendously. And it is easy!

Deep breathing and slowing my heart rate down helps settle me.

Then there is the less obvious spiritual things:

Call a friend, go for a walk, plan something that will make you happy and do it! Small things tip the scale.

For me, this morning, it has been writing and sharing with all of you! Thanks for letting me vent that this is hard!

Thanks for letting me have hope that we don’t need to get stuck in the yuck! We can get through it together!